This last week

I'm always tired and hoping for things I can never have.

This upcoming is the last week of school.  I haven't been so lazy in all my life.  

I know that there is a lot of work to do but for some reason I can't bring myself to be a diligent student.

So I had a suspicion that I might be narcoleptic, so i did some research.  

I still think i might be.  Well, mostly, narcolepsy is characterized by interrupted sleep patterns so instead of the usual NREM sleep for an hour and a half or so and then REM, REM sleep can occur immediately after falling sleep.

My habits as of these last two years would certainly provide me the condition for developing narcolepsy.  I mean, sometimes, I fall asleep and have a dream and wake up and it's only thirty minutes later.  And I've been monstrously tired a lot lately....lots of naps, even after a good 8 hours of sleep.

Only thing: I don't remember my dreams that vividly...at least nothing comes to mind when I think about anything that might have occurred recently.

Anyway, between that and trying to wish myself into favorable situations, I haven't gotten any work done....FUCK....ME.

The worst part about right now is not having someone to be with every night.

and I know that I now sound like a bitch but it's true that sometimes you just need someone.

God knows I've been trying but we know where that takes me.

Sad...I do better when I'm not trying.  I now know that this is a recurring theme for my life and not just for my dancing....

problem is, I don't know how to not be passionate about what I'm doing

The .... slug?

I feel like everything is passing me by very quicly and I am too slow to even catch up in this lifetime.

I think I fucked things up in one day.  

And Mr. Apathy is here, but I'm not sure it's just the rain that brings him by.

Bit o work

btw, here's a taste of my work:

girls girls girls

In a bind....not a bind but .....there's a lot to think about.  It's the end of the year and i'm just having a lot of trouble trying to motivate myself to be of any use.  I can only think of one thing.

It just keeps getting more and more complicated and i also wish i wasn't such a dickbag.

i fucked up a lot of things so .... we'll just have to let it ride like always.

but man...like a twig.

Birthday weekend

This last weekend was my birthday....i usually feel very lonely on my birthday even with lots of people but this time felt a bit different.  it was comfortable.

i spent time with some people i cared about so it was good. . .Tha'ts really what its about right...thats why i usually tell people it's not my birthday when it is.

There was a girl from the past that was there, which made me happy.  

But overall, i hate parties centered around me.  Too much pressure.

....btw....

i just lost the game

New to the game

I tried keeping a journal when I was really young but my brother made fun of me so it's never been something i've really been into.  It's always been something i've been interested in though... especially now that the days pass by like weeks and i end up forgetting everything i've ever done....

Anyway, i guess i should introduce a little bit of myself....

My name is James Wu, I am currently a full time student....soon to be a....full time graduate student.  I am a printmaking major at MICA (Maryland Institute College of Art {less prestigious than it sounds, but then, everything is when you're there too long}).  I like to think i have a decent sense of humor.  I also dance in a poppin (notice, i did not say pop-locking because that would be incorrect) crew.  

So that's an overview....i guess....i can start out with today.  You'll probably get any important information later on....it'll be like a Tarrantino film or something but less bloody and less exciting by as much percent as anyone can possibly conceive.

I was late for work again.  It doesn't seem to matter so much but there is still htat worry.  I mean, what if there was a class that needed to work immediately?  I guess i would be balls deep in panic because everyone would be waiting on me.

Well, in my position it really wasn't so bad.  I'm more worried about the work that i have to do elsewhere.  I've been putting it off too long and it's come to a head.  Good news is that i just got that motivation to do it all in the last ....let's say 36 hours.

Today i saw the Evergreen house.  it was one of the most mind bogglingly beautiful places i've ever seen.  That is of course coming from a lover-of-super-tacky-things background....

there just sort of happened to be a bunch of people in my apartment now...so more in a little while....